Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
