mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
