her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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