Dual....:-)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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