i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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