Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
