4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
