he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
