i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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