What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
