Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
