i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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