Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize