It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
