Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
