Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
