Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
