Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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