so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
