Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
