K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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