There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
