I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
