trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
