Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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