Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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