WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
