I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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