She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize