you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
