My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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