real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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