guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Say something about gay babies.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So vagazzling was a success
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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