if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
