i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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