If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize