you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
