I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
