thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
