Cold hands, warm shart.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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