Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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