Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
