Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
