shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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