yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
