I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
