yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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