i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
