I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
