So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
