Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she told me i tasted like america
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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