are you still at the devil's house?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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