I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
