you would pick up someone in the library
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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