idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
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