I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
