do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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