used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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