i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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