I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
