So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my sisters under your porch take her home
honey bunches of taint.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
