I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
