It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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