so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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