I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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