the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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