am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
