I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
