what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
