I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
