Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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