Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
