Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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