he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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