I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
