My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We have started to decorate penises.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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