I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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