recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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