At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
