So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
