YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
