You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
