The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
