she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
