Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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